I think I’ll dance! February 4, 2010

At the risk of over sharing, I feel compelled to tell you that I LOVE to dance in my bedroom. Now before you picture me gracefully twirling about with elegantly pointed toes, perfectly keeping  rhythm – for the sake of authenticity, I must disclose, that is NOT how I dance. In fact, if someone caught a glimpse from the window, they might think I’m seizing – so it’s a good thing no one is watching!

I was inspired by the Grammy performance on Sunday night of Michael Jackson’s Earth Song - so I downloaded it and preceded to “dance”… arms flailing, feet stomping as MJ belts out “What about us!”. Oh the JOY! So, I’ve been inspired… to dance… everyday… to a new song and let the raw honest expression transform me into a more alive, authentic human being.

Yesterday it was MJ’s Earth Song, today Don’t you by Simple Minds! (Breakfast Club anyone?)

What do you say, will you dance with me?

i quit. February 1, 2010

Two very uninspiring words. Two very scary words. Two very permanent words.

I quit my job today. I quit my job today because the fear of not having enough money was the only thing keeping me in the building. I made a quick but prayerful decision that that fear was not going to run my life.  Belief, passion and love are a requirement for all the things I do in my life – when those things are gone, I owe it to myself and everyone else to move on.

So as I packed up my desk, the beautiful faces that I’ve come to know and love over the past year and a half looked at me with shock and sadness. I too am sad, that I am no longer apart of your daily lives – but that’s the only reason. There is no question in my mind, whether or not I made the right decision. I know the path I walk is being triumphantly led by the creator of the universe and that knowledge gives me peace.

A good friend just asked me, “so what’s your plan?” and I can confidently tell you, I have NO plan! Trust me, had it been MY plan I would take two weeks off for some much needed rest and rejuvenation and then happily transition into the fabulous job I had lined up BEFORE responsibly quitting my job. That would have been MY plan.

I have no other option but to sit in the faith that God will show up. In His perfect timing and His perfect provision, He will show up. Its a beautiful thing.

Today I will have two o’clock tea in the comfort of my blissful bedroom instead of my office cubicle – unexpected? Yes. Inspiring? Very. I’m already quite fond of the fact that it’s a Monday afternoon and I’m curled up in bed in my pajamas… tomorrow is a blank canvas just begging for a beautiful painting. And so I will paint.

As I pulled into my garage this afternoon, my desk boxed up in my back seat, the finality of my decision sinking in… Sheryl Crow sang confidently on the radio “a change will do you good!” Coincidence? I. Think. Not.

New year. New look. New me? January 25, 2010

Transition. Transition can be difficult, scary and exciting all at the same time. Over the last month and a half  I’ve felt the Lord preparing/changing my heart for what I sense is a big transition coming my way. But what, I don’t know.

Tunnel vision. Have you ever been in a place where you can only see what’s going on right in front of your eyes and have lost all concept of the big picture? Tunnel vision leads to loss of perspective and hope. I am in transition, yet I have tunnel vision – not a healthy combo.

Inspired. The name of the women’s event I attended yesterday with Flood Church – where we spent the day “learning to live and lead with soul.” It was 7 beautiful hours where the tears flowed, the dark cloud of hopelessness was lifted and I got to think about the things that I think are beautiful….

imperfections. the sky. smiles. laughter. tears. fresh flowers. big cities. the smell of coffee (mmmm). support. new days.

and the things that I would love to spend my life doing…

build and nurture relationships. encourage others. inspire others. make people smile. have God’s goodness shine through me.

The beautiful, inspirational and perfectly witty (all of which I long to be) Leeana Tankersley, author of Found Art, showed me that I need to breathe again and keep breathing. So this is me exercising my options, making a plan to seek out inspiration in my daily life and document it here.

Because it’s good for my soul.

shame on you J.Crew. August 7, 2009

If there is one thing I’ve struggled with in my life, it’s shopping. I am a third generation shop-a-holic – I admit it. The first step to overcoming a problem is to admit it right?

 I’m telling you this so you know where I stand in regards to fashion, accessories, SHOES, materialism… whatever you want to call it!

 Avid J.Crew shopper that I am -slash I can only afford their sale items but I still shop there anyway – I was appalled when the following image popped into my inbox this morning.

 Now I don’t know if I’m over reacting here, cause when I shared the image with my female co-workers, I received an “aw cute!” but I’m sticking to my gut reaction of “ugh sad”.

 I don’t know what disgusts me more… the expressions of defiance and envy on these young innocent girls’ faces, the gluttonous over accessorizing (yes I realize it is an advertisement but since when is it appropriate for children to wear jewelry that isn’t their mom’s when they are playing dress up?!?), or just simply the image that this is giving parents and kids alike that this is the standard of beauty in today’s day and age – have you ever seen the show Toddlers in Tiaras? Case and point. Not to mention that they just look straight up ridiculous – seriously 5 headbands!!!!!

 J.Crew, you know I love you – I’m actually sporting one of your tanks as I write this – but please don’t turn our young girls into soulless consumers, you already have their parents – isn’t that enough?

a year in review July 16, 2009

Last night it was a joy to attend Flood Summer Nights and reconnect with the community that I have intentionally stepped away from these past few weeks as a desperate effort to revive my soul, rest my ailing body and reconnect with the Holy Spirit that lives within me.

With the dead of summer looming, I’ve been thinking a lot about this past year and all the change that came along with it. This time last year, I attended FSN – my first official event at Flood – not knowing a soul. Nervous yet excited to find my first ever “church home” I flipped into hyper-extrovert mode determined to know and be known.

Last night’s event was a completely different experience as I looked into the many eyes of the folks I’ve come to know and love over this past year. Today I reflect on the past “year” – the good the bad and the ugly – that led me to where I am today.

In July of 2008, my life did a 180 and I learned a great lesson on God’s perfect timing. Within a month’s time I found my home church, landed my dream job and walked away from a relationship that I had life-long hopes for. Have you ever had your dreams come true and crushed at the very same time? I didn’t know whether to jump for joy or cry – I did plenty of both.

Cue whirlwind.

In the past 12 months I’ve had the opportunity to do things (career wise) that I didn’t think would be reality for me. Well not at least until after 10 years of serving coffee, doing grunt work, putting in long hours etc… I’ve had so many ‘I can’t believe this is my life’ moments (inspiration for the name of this blog) that I kinda wish I started documenting it sooner. Oh well, God’s perfect timing remember! All the while having this incredible vision of what God was doing in and through me through my time in the office.

As if starting a career weren’t enough to take on… no, no God had even more in store for the next 12 months of my life. When I attended FSN last year, I just wanted to make friends – today I have a family. In a time when my heart ached from loss of love, God gave me people who have blessed my life in more ways than they will ever now. Then came the challenge. Taking a risk for the Kingdom of God with 2 people I hardly knew and one person who I’d gone to great heights with We came together, held hands and jumped in head first and today the Carmel Valley Group is alive, well and home to many who desire, like me 12 months ago, to know and be known. Amen.

So here I am today, July 16, 2009 – still mildly burnt out from work – anxiously awaiting a new season. This past year has been tumultuous at times, but the transformation was worth every little growing pain. With my best friend planning to start a family and my college roommate preparing to walk down the aisle, this next year promises to be exciting in the very least. Life moves on, I will soon enough be one year older (gasp) and with each passing day we are one moment closer to the day that every knee will bow…

 “From the rising of the sun to the place of its setting men may know there is none besides me. I am the LORD, and there is no other.” – Isaiah 45:6

Stop. Breathe. Trust. July 9, 2009

Still not convinced that writing this blog is something I want to do, I write to you today a little sick (sniff sniff), sad (missing my girls on the east coast), and burdened by the busyness of life.

My life is a juggling act, always has been and probably always will be, I go from working my 9-5 to either job B or sometimes job C OR some type of event with Flood and then of course there’s time with friends, working out, time alone, etc… If I had a dollar for every time I heard ‘I just don’t know how you do it…’ The truth is I don’t know how I do it either and some days I suck at it and I cry. This is one of those days. All I want to do is crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head until a day in my calendar that is empty (July 25^th) and then get up and start using a word that is currently few and far between in my vocabulary “no”.

But I don’t have that option, so I carry on – making more commitments, filling up more days, and pressing on towards the purpose that I am being called.
So how do I do it you ask? Well, my only saving grace, the one thing that gets me from this moment to the next – is knowing that I do not walk alone.

My first time. July 4, 2009

I have a confession to make. I am an online skeptic, I resisted Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, blogs…. You name it, I said ‘oh that’s not for me!’ Well I gave in…. to all of it! And with each new networking discovery I’m proven wrong – my most recent addition, Twitter, so come follow me (insert shameless plug here!) http://twitter.com/KennaHurd. And now I’m faced with the question to blog or not to blog? Well as history proves I will give in eventually so there’s no time like the present to add “update blog” to my ever-expanding to do list. I probably should have hit the gym, did the laundry, finished reading Mere Christianity first, but then what would I have to blog about later…

So for now, welcome to my blog. I have no idea where it goes from here but feel free to come along for the ride.