Please don’t take this personally, but I’ve been avoiding you. I’m sorry. It’s not you, really it’s me. I just haven’t had much to say lately. Okay so maybe I’ve had things to say, but nothing I was anxious to share with the world. But I will admit that I’ve felt guilty for abandoning you – after all I made a promise to you and to myself to document my world as I know it… and I’m not one to break promises, so here I am.
Truth is, my state of mind is changing as much as the southern California weather as of late. One day I wake up with the vigor and hope to take on the day and others I melt into my couch and drift away to the latest Bravo marathon. I am an unpredictable, unrecognizable mess – but what I’m trying to accept is that right now, this is me. So here I am, mess and all, participating authentically in my world as I know it. Yep, this isn’t easy.
I expected God would use this journey to change me and while I sit here writing this in the thick of the mud, I am blown away by you! You have told me that my journey is prompting you to live a more inspired life. My unknown, my brokenness, my pain is bringing you life and I need you to know that you are my inspiration. To think that God is transforming not just my life in this proves that He indeed is good- and I am a chosen, redeemed, loved mess. Indeed He is good.
